The Wonderful Jedi of Oz
by lunarchroniclesandcockatiels
Summary: Meet Luke- a young farmboy who just wants to see the world. Somehow, he is magically transported to Oz, where he has to find the legendary wizard Jar Jar in order to get home. Along with the help of Han, 3PO, and Leia, will he evermanage to get home? And will Beru ever manage to get earplugs? For humor purposes only.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or anything else mentioned.**

"Lu-uke!" called Aunt Beru from inside the house. "Come here. The droid's done it again!"

Luke sighed. His droid, R2-D2, certainly was quite a handful. He quickly ran into the house.

"Luke, if R2D2 goes onto Mr. Vader's property again, he's going to call the police!" complained Beru. "And they'll take him away!"

Luke rolled his eyes. There was no police on Tatooine, since it was a remote desert planet, run by Jabba the Hutt.

Aunt Beru looked at him expectantly.

"Fine." he replied, deciding not to bring up the subject of not actually having police. Besides, Mr. Vader said that every time Artoo went on his property. "I'll make sure Artoo doesn't go on Mr. Vader's property again."

 **The Next Day**

"Lu-uke! Come here! The droid!"

 **The Next Hundred Days**

"Lu-ke! The droid!"

 **The Day After That**

"Lu-ke!" called Aunt Beru for what seemed like the hundred and second time. Luke sighed. He never got to do _anything_ anymore. Work on the farm, drink blue milk, blow up the Death Star, blah, blah, blah.

Luke came into the house. The first thing he noticed was a man in a creepy black suit. He screamed, almost falling backwards.

"Luke," said Aunt Beru nervously. "This is Mr. Vader. He's here to come take R2-D2 away."

"No!" cried Luke. "He can't! Oh, Aunt Beru, you won't let him, will you?"

"Of course not, Lukey-Wookie Ruffle-Poo." said Uncle Owen, just coming in.

"If you don't hand over that droid," threatened Mr. Vader. "I'll force you to read all the _Twilight_ books."

Owen and Beru apparently were not Team Edward or Team Jacob, so they quickly pulled out a basket.

"Here, Luke." snarled Uncle Owen. "Put the _thin_ g in the basket already."

"Right." said Beru quickly.

" _Now_ you're seeing reason." Mr. Vader said, probably smirking under his mask. Except Luke would never know because Mr. Vader didn't take off his mask. Ever. Luke wondered how he ate, since, apparently, you could only survive a month without food.

Mr. Vader took the basket with R2-D2 in it, and ran for his ship, all the while cackling madly.

Poor little Artooie just screamed the whole way.

"Ugh." sighed Beru. "I need earplugs."

* * *

Luke sat in the chair outside the house, trying to think of a way to get Artoo back.

"Have a little heart, that's all." said C-3PO, a farmhand. He held out a small heart-shaped sculpture.

"What you really need is courage." said Han.

"Nah." said Leia, another farmhand. "He just needs a brain."

"Artooie is gone, and you guys don't care!" yelled Luke. "I'm running away!"

And he did.

"Good." said Beru. "Now we can take all his stuff. I call the earplugs!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Luke was in the middle of the desert, when he came across a sign reading: "Jar Jar Binks's Fortunes."

Now why there was a sign in a middle of a desert, Luke had no idea. He did, however know, that the answer to life, the universe, and everything was forty- two.

"Come in!" said a creepy-looking Gungan in a brown robe. "Meese Jar Jar Binks! Meesa muy, muy, muy annoying! Who is yousa?"

"Sorry." Luke told him, walking away. "No hablo espanol."

"Wait!" cried Jar Jar, clearing his throat. Luke didn't even look at him. "How rude!"

* * *

Suddenly, a mysterious sandstorm suddenly appeared in the middle of Tatooine.

"Oh no!" cried Beru. "Get in the storm cellar! Quick!"

Everyone got in the storm cellar, except for Luke, who wasn't back yet from running away.

"Whatever." said Owen, noting the absence of his young-ish step-nephew. "More room down here now!"

* * *

Luke managed to stumble into the house. "Auntie Beru?" he called. "Where are you?"

Suddenly, a gust of wind swept him off his feet, and he knocked his head on the table.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, guys! :D**

When he awoke, he was in a magical land filled with laughter and lollipops, and pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

"Wait a minute," cried Luke. "The author of this story lied! I don't see no fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow!"

 _Note from the author:_ _Too bad._

Actually, Luke was still in the same house, and what he saw outside wasn't pleasant at all. There were about a hundred Jawas surrounding the property. He quickly ran outside.

Suddenly, a weird looking man in a brown suit appeared.

"Are you a Jedi or a Sith Lord?" the man asked.

"Neither." replied Luke. "What are you?

"I," said the man. "Am Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi." He pulled off his hood, revealing the figure of an old man. "Only Jedi like me are handsome."

"Oh," said Luke. "Now I get it! So you're a Sith Lord!"

"Jedi."

"But you said Jedi were handsome!" cried Luke. "Like, no offense or anything, but you're, like, a hundred years old."

"Fifty-nine. And never mind."

"So why are you here?" inquired Luke. He pointed toward the Jawas. "Visiting the grandkids?"

"No!" cried Obi-Wan. "You killed the Emperor!"

"Oops." said Luke. Not that this was uncommon. Pretty much no one who ate his cooking lived to tell the tale.

"Not Oops!" Obi-Wan yelled. "Come here, Jawas!"

The Jawas, who seemed scared of Obi-Wan, ran over.

"Say "thank you!"" Obi-Wan hissed. The jawas immediately began to sing some song called "Ding Dong the Emperor's Dead." Luke wondered how this counted as a thank you.

It went like:

 _Ding Dong! The Emperor's Dead. Which Emperor? The evil one._

 _Ding Dong! The Emperor is Dead!_

 _Wake up- you nerf herder. Rub your eyes, get out of bed._

 _Wake up, the Emperor's Dead. He's gone where the Sith Lords go,_

 _Below- below- below. Yo-oh. Let's all get up, and work for Obi-Wan._

 _Ding Dong the merry-oh! Sing it high! Sing it low!_

 _Let Luke know_

 _He killed the Emperor!_

Suddenly, the same creepy guy from Chapter One appeared.

"Who killed my father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate? he shrieked.

"I thought I killed the creepy guy." complained Luke.

"Nah." Obi-Wan told him. "That was his his father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. This guy's even worse."

"Well," said Luke, suddenly anxious to leave. "I better be going. Bye-bye!"

"Not 'bye-bye'." said the creepy guy, who shall henceforth and forever be known as Dark Vader from this point onward. "Hi-hi."

Suddenly, Obi-Wan magically pulled a shiny round thing from the dead emperor's hands, and handed it to Luke.

"Uh..." Luke sighed. "Well, I don't usually make a habit of stealing dead guy's stuff... but I guess it's okay just this once."

"My lifesaver!" Dark Vader screamed. "It's gone!"

"What's the magic word?"

"1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10." said Vader.

"Uh, no. Try again." Luke told him.

"Password."

"No."

"I give up." Vader finally cried. "Gimme!"

"No."


End file.
